It's My Birthday and I'll Cry If I Want To

And you know what, I always want to!

My mom gave birth to me with daisies painted on her toenails. It was 5:30am in Washington D.C., where my parents met and fell in love and were holding hands when the doctors yanked me out via c-section. I was over 10lbs. My mom is 5’2”. To say it was a feat would be a gross understatement. My mom is a miracle worker.

I’m turning 34 today, which I’ve decided to treat as the senior year of my early 30’s. I hit the big three-oh during the beginning of Quarantine and declared it didn’t count, but then I turned 31 in Quarantine also and realized I’m not in charge of what counts.

The past three years have been a masterclass in finding out all the ways I don’t have control. Because I was born at 5:30am in Washington D.C., my natal chart shows that the moon was in Capricorn. When I tell fellow unprofessional astrologers I have a Capricorn moon, the news is often met with a groan or an apology. It’s a placement with a built-in life lesson: The moon represents the emotional tides of life and Capricorn is the sign that thrives when put in charge. But no one can be in charge of the tides. Even the moon could tell you that.

Apparently, all I can control is myself. How rude.

Last week, my book got published. My toenails were painted the blue I asked for when I got a pedicure … on Valentine’s Day. My fingernails were bit down to nubbins. I didn’t need an epidural; it was kind of a miracle.

F*cking Deal With It weighs 8.6 ounces and is a Taurus sun, just like me. On Saturday, my friends threw me a faux baby shower, with “IT’S A BOOK” creatively made out of balloons that were meant to say “it’s a boy.” We had Costco cake — my forever favorite — and toasted each other with sparkling pear cider. The party was at the house I stayed at when I first came to Portland almost three years ago, totally shattered. Standing in the sunshine, listening to my friends from LA talk to my friends from Seattle talk to my new friends from Portland felt like a blissful full circle moment.

If you want to get me a birthday present, a review on Amazon is the most perfect gift this year. (Unless you hated it, in which case, I would like a new car.)

In the meantime, I’m going to drink some coffee, kiss my boyfriend, and give my cat a Greenie. It’s going to be a beautiful year.

Love Always,
Christina