I Will Never Stop Loving

A gratitude list

The smell of the ocean.
A caffeine headache dissipating after the first sips of coffee.
The feeling of, “I’m proud of you.”
Waking up so cozy, it seems like the whole world has melded to your body.
When the lights go off for a musical.
Finding a perfect pen.
Pumping my own gas.

Last night, half of the electricity went out in my apartment. If it hadn’t been the half where my soggy laundry was sitting in the dryer, I might not have cared, but it was indeed on that side, so I thought about what to do. The landlord, or whatever grump sits in that office downstairs, went home at exactly 6, and my laundry could be reeking of mildew by the time someone came to help. I remembered a housemate from Los Angeles, a mechanical engineer, taking me outside to look at the circuit breaker. He pointed out the switches that’d been unswitched and told me how to fix it.

My circuit breaker is in my small apartment’s kitchen. I never think about it! I pressed one of the buttons and the entire place went dark. I replayed the memory in my head: the housemate, outside, LA, driveway, the switches that needed to be flipped to “off” before they could go back “on”.

I pushed again and the lights went on.

That. That satisfaction. I’ll never get sick of it.

Filling a notebook page.
Seeing my cat roll over in his sleep.
Using a semi-colon correctly; googling to make sure it’s right.
A book falling open to the page you left off.
Infomercials.
Remembering song lyrics.
The sound of steady typing.
When someone’s on your mind and then they call.
Following a recipe.
The little “thank you” vibration your phone makes when you plug it in.
Keeping a promise.
Paying the bill.
Smelling the clean laundry: not a hint of mildew.